Overprotective Parents Make Kids More Vulnerable

To what extent do we go to protect our children? At what point is it important to recognise that a parent’s job is to facilitate and help the child to connect with responsibility for their own actions?

There  connection between “cause and effect“ is a very important skill for a child to acquire in order to live responsibly in the world. Responsibility has become a very scarce thing in our modern culture. This is causing much pain. We are not facilitating responsibility in our children.

The right  time to start giving your kids their own responsibilities is when they are young — three to eight years old — because that’s when the stakes are smaller. We as parents sometimes have difficulty in allowing our children to learn by natural consequences.

For example, if you ask your 5-year-old to wear a jacket because it’s cold outside, but he refuses, you both enter into a power struggle over a seemingly small issue. But it’s NOT a small issue. Consider what would happen if you let the child learn the hard way — you let him go outside in the cold without a jacket. When you do that, you allow him to understand that he will have to learn by making his own decisions and dealing with the consequences.

"This doesn't mean you are not firm.Develop his decision making and sense of responsibility by allowing him,then a negative result would automatically make him consider a right choice.Right behaviour/decision equals  right results and the wrong gives birth to wrong.Gradually,being responsible and righteous sticks,this is how values are built.Build an independent child"-Aunty Debby.

When you make a power struggle out of these smaller issues, it sends the message that your kids don’t have the capability of learning on their own.

This is the protection that the child needs — giving them the opportunity to feel autonomous. Being a little cold isn’t going to hurt him, but not learning on his own WILL.
If we look honestly at why we make these small issues into power struggles, it is most often because we fear what others might say.

Our culture is strongly guarded against facing our fears and we do everything that we can to avoid dealing with or facing our fears. We are condoning that avoidance in our children.

Rather than teaching our children what they need to survive in this world, we are teaching them that they should not have to deal with those negative feelings, and it does them a huge disservice. It’s part of why anxiety had reached epidemic levels in society.
When we don’t take the opportunity to allow our kids to learn natural consequences, we take away their ability to face fears and to take responsibility for their actions.

Stuff Kids Do 1727175104257006892

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